Last week we held our annual Stop the Deaths conference.
Two days of powerful conversations, challenge, learning, emotion and connection.
Every year I’m reminded why bringing people together matters.
People arrive carrying the weight of this work and the realities that they live with. They leave with fresh ideas, renewed energy and a reminder that none of us are doing this alone.
Watching that happen is a privilege.
But this year it also reminded me of something else.
Sometimes the best thing a leader can do is get out of the way.
Knowing where I add value
For many years, this conference was something I was heavily involved in from start to finish.
As my role has changed, so has my contribution.
These days, my role is much more strategic.
I spend time thinking about the overall theme, the purpose of the event and the conversations we most need to have.
I work with colleagues to shape the programme, identify speakers, build partnerships and secure sponsorship that helps us make the conference as inclusive as possible. One of the things I’m most proud of is that sponsorship allows us to provide free places for people with lived and living experience, ensuring the voices that matter most are at the heart of the event rather than on the sidelines.
I’m always looking for ideas too.
This year, for example, we gave delegates packets of wildflower seeds to plant in memory of those we’ve lost to overdose. That idea came from the heartbreaking attendance at Naomi Burke-Shyne’s memorial event and thinking about how we might create a similar gesture of reflection for our own conference delegates.
That’s the part of the role I love.
Looking ahead.
Connecting ideas.
Thinking strategically about the experience we’re trying to create.
And then I step back
Once the direction is clear, my role in the event changes.
Or perhaps more accurately…my job is to get out of the way.
From that point on, the conference belongs to my team.
The speaker liaison.
The travel arrangements.
The venue.
The exhibition space.
The communications.
The ticketing.
The accessibility requirements.
The catering.
The delegate packs.
The chair briefings.
The staff guidance.
The countless details that nobody notices unless something goes wrong.
Every single one of those things is delivered by people whose expertise is far greater than mine.
And that’s exactly how it should be.
Trust is visible
I think people often talk about empowering teams as though it’s simply about delegating work.
I don’t think it is.
Empowerment is about trust.
It’s about being clear about the outcome you’re trying to achieve and then giving people the autonomy to make it happen.
Of course I’ll occasionally appear with another uninvited idea halfway through planning…
(I’m fairly sure my team would tell you that’s inevitable!)
But I don’t feel the need to be copied into every email or approve every decision.
Not because I don’t care.
Quite the opposite.
It’s because I do care.
I care enough to know that exceptional people produce exceptional work when they’re trusted to use their judgement.
The people behind the scenes
One of my favourite parts of the conference is watching my colleagues in action.
Setting up for the day.
Welcoming nervous speakers.
Quietly solving problems before anyone else even notices.
Or jumping to deal with problems that are obvious (that drilling!).
Checking in on delegates.
Supporting panel chairs.
Making people feel valued.
Creating an atmosphere that is both professional and incredibly human.
Most delegates will never see the hundreds of conversations, calls, planners and last-minute adjustments that make those two days possible.
I received this lovely message from a bereaved family member following the event:
“I’ve been so impressed by everyone from SDF who I interacted with or observed over the 2 days. They were so friendly and inclusive and clearly passionate about the work they do.”
Leadership isn’t centre stage
It’s easy to assume that leadership means being at the centre of everything.
I now think it’s almost the opposite.
Throughout the conference a number of people asked me if I was nervous before we started, or congratulated me afterwards on how well the event had gone.
I found myself giving the same response every time.
I wasn’t nervous. I was excited.
Not because I take the event for granted, but because I had complete confidence in the people around me.
Of course I have an important role to play in shaping the conference and setting its direction. I care deeply about the event and feel a real sense of responsibility for creating something that reflects our values and serves the people who come along.
But I can’t take the credit for making it happen.
That belongs to my team.
They’re the ones who bring the conference to life. They’re the ones who make sure every detail comes together.
Leadership, for me, is knowing where you add the most value.
It’s creating the conditions for other people to do their best work.
It’s bringing together talented people, being clear about the vision and then resisting the temptation to control every detail.
Because when we hold on too tightly, we don’t just create more work for ourselves.
We also deny others the opportunity to demonstrate just how capable they are.
Watching people shine
One of the greatest privileges of my role is watching people grow into opportunities they might never have imagined for themselves.
Seeing colleagues confidently lead pieces of work.
Watching people chair sessions, present their work, speak up for what they believe in, manage major events or solve problems I would never have thought of.
None of that happens if leaders insist on remaining the expert in everything.
If this year’s conference reminded me of anything, it’s that the quality of our leadership isn’t measured by how much we do ourselves.
It’s measured by how many other people we’re able to help succeed.
Sometimes the most valuable contribution we make isn’t taking centre stage.
It’s creating the conditions for others to shine.
If this resonated with you…
If you’re looking to become a leader who empowers others, builds trust and creates the conditions for people to do their best work, coaching can provide the space to reflect on your own leadership and the impact you’re having on those around you.
I currently have a small number of coaching spaces available for executive and senior leaders. If you’d like to explore whether coaching is the right fit for you, I’d love to have a chat about it. Find out more and book a free, no obligation call here.
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